Twilight: The Real Story
by Annabel Fate Juliet Gaisras
Summary: Twilight. I Anna, am here to reveal the true story of Twilight to you. I have searched a long time for this story, and now it shall be told . . . Rated T for language and possible future scenes
1. Dun Dun Dun! INTRO!

**Me: **My very first spoof. I'm here to reveal the _true _story of Twilight to you.

**Bella: **What are you talking about? They already know the _true _story!

**Me: **No they don't. Now shut up you stupid emo wanna-be.

****Bella: **-.-**

**Disclaimer: Anna does not own anything of Twilight! **(thank goodness!) **If she did the story would be A LOT better **(in her opinion). **She also does not mean to offend any Twilight fans, its just a spoof.  
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><p><strong>Twilight: The Real Story<strong>

**By: XoxAnnaxoX  
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**Prologue:**

Vampires, werewolves, witches, goblins and . . . _unicorns?_ Nah, I'm just playing! We all know the story of Twilight, a tale of love, action, suspense, drama, horror, and plain stupidity. Well, in my latest adventures of climbing on roof tops, fighting skeletons, killing trolls, and slaying Medusa, I discovered the _true _story of Twilight. There is more to that story than anyone has ever heard! And, I Anna, am here to reveal this story to you. Don't believe the government lies that they feed you! This story is 100% TRUE! But be warned, this story may contain bad language, and plain stupid crap. You have been warned . . .

Now . . . Let me tell you the _real _story of Twilight. . .

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><p><strong>Me: <strong>Not very long, but it's just a prologue.

**Bella: **. . . i hate you . . .

**Me: **What'd I do?

**Bella: **-.-

**Me: **Are you PMSing?

**Bella: **I don't PMS anymore . . .

**Me: **Oh yeah . . . oh well. Anyways, any ideas or stuff you wanna see in this just let me know. I might not be able to update soon because I might be gone for a while, but if not I'll get chapter one up as soon as possible! Please review!


	2. Um    Preface?

**Me: **Well, here is the 'Preface' as Stephenie Meyer calls it.

**Bella: **Why do insist on making fun of us all?

**Me: **Because its so easy you wanna-be slut!

**Bella: **-.-

**Me: **Hehe. I win. Anyways, please enjoy the -laughs- preface!

**Disclaimer: ANNA OWNS NOTHING OF TWILIGHT AS SHE HAS SAID BEFORE! **

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><p><strong>Preface <strong>

I went to through the depths of a long forgotten town. A town that goes by the name of _Spoons _for this. Let me tell you, that place is _crawling _with vampire! Very thirsty creatures . . . I think one of them might have actually _bit _me! D*mn vamps . . . Anyways, before I forget, here is the Preface? Pre-_face_? Really? Woooowwww. Okay, well anyways here it is:

**Bella's P.O.V.**

I'd never given much thought about how I would die . . . Nah, I was to busy trying to get the pants off a very, _very _hot vampire. . . and werewolf. Mm . . . such sexy muscles. . . God. . . and ones always shirtless . . . One uses to much hair gel though . . . Oh, sorry where was I? Oh yeah . . . Well, I hadn't given much thought as to how I would die . . .but I never imagined it to be like _this_. I mean, c'mon! Really? Why not ya know, like, I dunno a heart attack or a stroke? Or maybe even from my lack of eating. . . .Hey! Don't judge me! Its the style now, uh . . . um . . . not that I follow the latest trends . . . Wait! Did the latest trend magazine come out? Sorry, got off track again.

I stared without breathing – trust me, it isn't easy – across the long room into the dark eyes. He smiled back pleasantly at me. Did I see a spark of pedo in them? Um . . . aw crap . . .

Surely I was going to die . . ._Hm . . . or get rapped . . ._ But, it was a good way to die right? In the place of someone you loved . . .Right? I mean, its noble even . . . Its what all the latest hero's are doing! Wait . . .if I'm a hero I can't die! All the hero's get randomly saved! Right . . .!

I knew if I'd never gone to Forks – what kind of name is that by the way – I wouldn't be facing death right now. I mean, why'd I have to come visit my stupid dad anyways? Gosh . . . But as terrified as I was, I couldn't bring myself to regret the decision. Well, maybe I could if I thought long enough about it . . . and try to be emo . . . I mean everyone's doing it!

The hunter smiled at me in a friendly way. Why is he smiling like that? Isn't he going to kill me? Oh well . . . stupid bad guy . . . Anyways, the hunter smiled at me in a friendly at me as he sauntered forward to kill me.

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><p><strong>Me: <strong>Eh, not very good.

**Bella: **I hate it . . .

**Me: **Did anyone ask you? No, so shut up. Oh and one last thing. I don't mean to offend any Twilight fans, so please, don't hate on me. And if you do, I really don't care. So, please review any ideas, or ways to improve, and what you liked! Review . . . . or DIE! x.X**  
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